My Russian Tour 7

7. The tough decision of choosing between two stunning women

All these different experiences were eye-openers for me. I was under the impression that I was experienced enough to deal with the situation satisfactory. I was successful in my career and confident in what I was doing. Probably I was a little too much mucho. Today I can tell you there are so many things that you learn in the process and it is very important to make the right decisions at the right time. I was fortunate enough that everything worked out fine for me and I can share it with people that have a desire to find a foreign wife.

From the second bundle of letters I only responded to Elena. She was the one that was giving me cold fever when I read her letter and saw her photo. Eventually I decided to write to only two of the women. My biggest worry at that time was if I was dealing with the situation correctly. What will I do if one of the women suddenly informs me that she has met somebody else and is not interested in me anymore? That would leave me in a situation where I don’t have a choice and this is the type of situation I prefer not to happen. The best would be if I could make a choice. I hoped that after a few letters it would be clear who I liked more.

After I received second letters from Irina and Elena, I already had a feeling who I would eventually prefer. But I still did not want to let anyone go, probably because I was afraid to lose control over the situation. I wanted to be able to choose. At that stage it would be difficult, both were very attractive, educated, intelligent and so much more. Having the opportunity to correspond with two women of this caliber was wonderful, but at the same time I also felt a little bit guilty, like I was cheating. I actually told both women that I have received very good response to my ad, and made it clear that I was corresponding with somebody else. But still I was thinking how would I tell one of them that I have chosen another woman.

The correspondence and a possible future relationship with a Russian woman were so exciting for me. There was some indescribable mystery, the unknown of someone foreign. But despite of my sound knowledge of foreign countries and their realities (foreign countries were always my passion), it did not make me an expert in foreign relationships. I can tell you, foreign knowledge and foreign relationship don’t have much in common. Having knowledge of a foreign country will help you in your relationship but there are so many finer things in the culture, which you will only discover later. You can also be experienced in relationships, but a foreign relationship will definitely have some difference and most of it will come from the culture differences. What I was wondering about, how big will those differences be and how difficult will it be to overcome them. Of course it depends on the person, but there always will be some culture differences, Russia and the West are just way too different. Your personal way of dealing with those differences is important because it can determine whether you succeed in the relationship or not, and this whole process made me very excited.

After I received third letters from the two ladies, I had a definite feeling of my choice of woman. Initially I was not sure how to cope with this feeling, but after giving it a good thought (2 weeks!) I had come up with a decision. These types of decisions are so sensitive. The decision I had made that day ensured my further relationship with the lady of my choice. I decided to continue my relationship with Elena. In my following letter to Elena I told her about my decision, that she was the only woman that I was now corresponding with. Much later in our relationship she told me that the letter where I informed her that I only corresponded with her now, was the turning point in our relationship. She told me that after that letter she was feeling secure. She said she was attracted to me the most from the very beginning (she was also corresponding with some other men) but she thought I was too good for her (grin). She was feeling insecure and wanted to keep her options open.

I think this is very typical for Russian women. A beautiful woman 10 years younger who is educated, intelligent, feminine, caring, charming, not overly materialistic and who is happy to be a woman, is something special born. The same applies to a Russian woman. A guy who is hardworking, faithful, attentive, who takes care of his career, health and good physical shape, who does not smoke and doesn’t drink, will be very special for Russian women. Add the desire to get married and start a family (which is as rare in Russian men as in western women), and you will see why we both could not believe in our luck. We both were thinking the other one was too good to be true!